It is an incredibly difficult time for the whole family when a couple is going through marital problems and facing the prospect of divorce. However, even if you are finding this time difficult as a couple it is absolutely vital that you remember your children. Especially if your children are young they will be finding it very hard to deal with your arguing and potential separation. Some children will have seen their parents argue, some won’t. Some will be worrying that divorce is in some way their fault, some won’t. Some couples will know accurately how their children are feeling, some won’t.
Whatever your situation is, think carefully about what will be best for your children. Interestingly enough, this may actually be to finalise your separation. If your children have to witness their parents arguing with each other day in day out, threatening to leave, they are going to find it very hard to understand how to deal with this. Children will feel a sense of upheaval, but will not know whether mum or dad is staying or going and this is definitively unfair. Talk to your kids constantly, reassure them, answer their questions, and let them know what is going on to the best of your ability. This should help them understand what is going on, that they are not to blame and that you love them.
When you make a decision regarding your actions, attempt to make it the final one. Remember this as well, your children will not be enjoying your arguments any more than you are. If you separate this is likely to be better for both you and the kids. Forcing a relationship to continue which is simply not working anymore is not fair on your children and it will simply result in your children having bad memories of you rather than good.
If you do decide to separate, and you do this on good terms, you may be able to negotiate your divorce settlement between yourselves. Following this negotiation it is always advisable to put the agreements you have come to into writing with a lawyer. This will prevent any conflict arising over your agreements further down the line. If your children have already dealt with the divorce they will not want old memories to be dragged up again five years down the line when one of your remarries and suddenly there is tension in the air again.
If you separate on bad terms, get a lawyer involved, and do it now. Specialist divorce solicitors will be required to help you to either reach a conclusion to the matter via mediation or via litigation. It is incredibly important that the divorce is settled as quickly as possible. The longer your divorce settlement takes, the harder this will be for your children and for you.
If you need a specialist divorce lawyer, contact Roskell Davies. We offer all initial divorce enquiries free of charge, simply call 0800 142 2901 or fill in an online enquiry.