Family mediation will inevitably be difficult for all involved. Successful mediation requires dedication, ambition and a clear sight of what you want to achieve – in this blog post we’ll look at 5 mistakes people make during mediation, and how to approach them in a fair, considerate and understanding manner.
Not Understanding Why or How you Want your Relationship to Change
Having a knowledge that you need things to change is fine but it is different from knowing why and how you might go about achieving these changes. To make a go at things and to be truly successful in family and divorce mediation, you need to see a way out, and see how you might be able to achieve change. Come to mediation with a clear goal, but also a fair understanding that it’s a process and you need to have an end goal in mind.
Not Having a Clear Understanding of your Financial Situations
This is a common problem, and can have implications not only for mediation but further down the line when it comes to dividing assets. Know who owns what – there is no point paying for mediation to fight for an asset neither of you can ultimately afford. Have a clear understanding of the money you own, and what is worth fighting for.
Failure to Mention Common Ground
Sometimes couples who invest in mediation make the mistake of avoiding, intentionally or not, the common ground that lies between them. The job of mediation is to bring this common ground to the fore, but the mistake is often that they don’t recognise the need to do this and will constantly try to focus on the negative and destructive elements of their relationship.
Having Unrealistic Demands of Your Partner
A common misconception is that when the mediation process starts, it will be easy to demand and therefore achieve all that you’re asking for. Mediation is a way of finding agreement and common ground – and it’s unlikely that it will be successful if there is no compromise from both sides.
Settling for Less than You Deserve
There’s no doubt that although mediation is a case of compromise and understanding, you need to have a clear understanding of what you want to get out the process and why the relationship is worth saving. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, and It’s worth doing some research and taking some time to understand why and how you want to carry out your mediation proceedings. Here at Roskell Davies we can help with this process and advise on the best way forward – contact us for more information.